PAIN
Nan's mother had died of old age a few weeks before. The freshness of her departure pervaded Nan's mind. I didn't know Nan well, so we chatted about this and that until she suddenly began telling me about her mom. The pain and loneliness of missing her mother were very fresh and sorrowful.
Nan talked and talked about the relationship she had had with her mother while she was growing up. There had been definite hurts and fractures that still ached this many yeaars later. But how Nan missed her mom now! She realized the depths of love and desire she held for the woman who had birthed her.
All that was in the past now. The present was empty without her. Before we parted ways, the Holy Spirit told me very directly to pray with Nan and ask that God's comfort be hers in her sorrow.
A month and a half passed before I saw Nan again. I thought that probably she would begin talking about her grief again, but she didn't mention her mom's death, other than to say it had been two months or so since it happened. That was all she said.
Instead, Nan began talking all about her interests, the things she did when she wasn't working: her hobbies, traveling, her home, pets, garden and more. Though I didn't say so, I was shocked by all the activity that consumed her life. Nan never seemed to sit still. Always into something. All she did was interesting and varied, not at all monotonous. But Nan had little down time to be quiet and think.
That was the clue. The hurt and pain of missing her mother plus the unresolved friction in their relationship were too distressing for Nan to allow their free reign in her consciousness. Instead, she had closed the door on her pain and to God's voice, the One who wanted to bring peace that passes understanding to her heart with eternal comfort. Busy-ness, constant motion, endless commitments to doing and helping kept the noxious memories from nagging at Nan's emotions. But it also prevented God from being heard.
To avoid thinking about God and her soul, Nan had insulated herself with busyness. She wore all her pursuits like a suit of armor and made sure she was totally protected.
Trying to steer our conversation to spiritual matters, I began telling Nan about an amazing experience had by a friend of mine. The incident was a clear and vibrant example of God's kind intervention in our daily welfare and wellbeing. I hoped its hearing would bring hope in God to Nan's heart.
As I concluded, Nan acknowledged the miracle of it, but passed it off easily. The warm reception she had given when I prayed with her was absent now. The door to Nan's heart had closed.
Isn't it strange how pain can either drive us to God for His help and peace or, quite the opposite, cause us to drown the ache by substituting idols? How fickle is the human heart apart from God. We must resist the temptation to take the easy way out by finding relief in busyness rather than by our seeking God until we find Him!
God says only a few will really come to know Him. Most will go through the motions for a time, but their feeble attempts will be only superficial. It takes work, courage and effort, honesty and time to really find and know God. Not many will pursue Him. They will have missed the greatest opportunity of their lifetime...their only real opportunity to gain eternal life forever.
When you are posed with making such a decision, pursue God no matter what it demands from you.
The opposite is something you will regret unendingly for all eternity! The choice is up to you! Eternal life. God Himself. No higher effort exists. Let it be the road you take! Make it yours!